Confessions Of A Scatterbrained
As you read the title, this blog is a blog of a scattered brain person in the most authentic meaning. I don’t suffer from any kind of mental disorders by the way. My mind just works its very unique way to present itself to the world. And it happens that I am a person who carries it. Let me tell you a tad bit about the blog and myself.
It was originally named “The Utopian Me” on November 2010. You may see that my writing started in 2006. Don’t be fooled 😛 I exported my previous blog from Myspace to WordPress after getting sick of the constant reminder pop-up. So, some of them was written when I was in University. I won’t delete them which I hate to admit most of which don’t have really decent content. Well, maybe it’s just me but I’d like to see how much I have grown.
I wrote religiously in 2011 and I stopped on November 2011 after a year blogging. Reason? I just felt like I couldn’t write anymore. I reached the point where I needed to take a turn, enrich my life experience and then come back.
At the end of 2012, I decided to come back here again. And here I am. I changed the overview this blog quite a bit and I will continue changing it in the future. I figure things (tangible and intangible) need to be implemented and developed overtime; otherwise, they will stay behind in this “progress at the speed of light” world.
Regardless, I will stay honest and enthusiastic in my writing, as always. As just stated, this blog consists of various topics and issues all of which are very distinguishable from one another and perhaps, written in a distinctive narrative voice. The reason? I will mention in the below section.
Now it has a different name “May”. Could be May as in “Maybe” – uncertain, unidentified, indecisive. Because honestly, I write mostly base on my very personal point of view and I am unsure of how the real world works. And let’s just put aside the world for a minute now, I have very different sets of thoughts inside of me also. One part of me can totally relate to what I write, some others may not. Internal debates happen every day. So, as every person out there, I try every day to gather all the concrete information I have learned and integrate into my thought system. Therefore, I will learn more about myself and the world at large. Now, think about an analogy of a blind person trying to figure the world step by step by all of his senses. He can be right and wrong at the same time. But it doesn’t matter as long as he keeps trying and there will be day he finally looks at the world for the first time. I call this process “trial and error” which is totally dreadful in the process, yet rewarding at the end. “May” can be endless possibilities which are sort of haunting inspiration I’ve always sought for. So in a nutshell, these two definitions seem to complement each other. In every struggle, there is an underlying opportunity.
I consider myself more of a narrator than an author. Someone with a lot more power and intelligence created me and gave me an ability to present my voice to the world. So, in a sense, I am “obligated” to this author and follow his lead. He can create and also destroy my part in any second. But also, my will power lies in my ability to do best what I have been given. I call it a gift and “freedom within limits of responsibility”
I am a type 7 Enneagram and Psychology fanatic 😛 I love the mystery in people’s psychology and how the human mind works. As long as I know, I don’t really have a determine score on Myers-Briggs personality type (MBTI). Whenever I take the test, I have a different result. It can be mostly my mood. But I blame it on my Gemini Moon. Oh, I forgot to mention, I am also an Astrology lover also. I have a lot of Air elements in my astrology chart which explains my changes in mood and emotions.
I have a habit of explaining and or talking about myself. Some may find it entertaining, other may think I am self-absorbed which both are true.
I have short attention span. Some even doubt I have Attention Deficit Disorder. I don’t think I do by the way. I just put my attention on so many things at once but it’s there. I promise
“You are a walking contradiction”-quoted. I agree. I had noticeable conflicted traits when I was really young. That’s why I always feel the need to explain myself 😛 And I think that people are self-conflicted too believe it or not. We are intrinsically self-destructed. If not careful, we can set out to destroy what we have built. I know that and I have to remind myself constantly in order to pass the “temptation” of tear down my creation.
Know and am aware that I am not really a good writer as I have hoped 😛 but being honest with one’s self is a virtue and also a first step to recognize where I am at and what I should do to improve my writing skills. Feel free to judge and criticize!
Always try to sound/look serious but there is something comical/animated about myself that always makes other laugh when they look at me. Don’t know what it is, but it’s there. You can help me identify it (if you in the mood for a hot heated debate 😛 I am joking)
I love movies and music.
The list can go on and on.